Six Psychopaths and a Psychoship
Written by some dude.
An “Essay” about:
The Discordians: The Mysterious Chosen of Eris!
(Warning: The author has absolutely no idea on what he is doing/should be doing/has already done/was doing. If you have any ideas/corrections/questions, please help. Send help!)
First things first:
What the hell is a Discordian? (Apart from being of course the chosen of Eris Discordia.)
The Discordian exalted are a bizzare exalted type (No shit, man), with equally bizzare powers.
Not unlike the Solars/Terrestrials/Abyssals/Sidereal exalted, they have ability based charms. Unfortunately for everyone else, they seem to have graduated the Sidereal school of Charms creation whilst drunk, so their powers are, at best, perfectly normal, if just a tiny bit warped(Like Zero Seconds Duplication, linguistic charm who allow the Discordian to write super duper fast, but the text is full of errors and thus gives malice to its use); at worst we get things like Becoming the Arrow, in which the Discordian decides that using normal ammunition is for chumps and proceed to launch herself from the bow/crossbow/other thing that can throw projectiles.
Incidentally, one of their innate powers allow them to fake being another exalted type/other supernatural being(Only a similar colored anima, and a single anima-like power, so no eclipse-like power-share), so if you see another kind of exalted doing strange things in your game, then your GM may have decided to use Discordians.
Yes, do not expect much seriousness from the Discordians. Or maybe expect it, because it may randomly appears from nowhere!(Not very likely)
Who/How/When the hell can (One) become a Discordian?
In a surprising and badly foreshadowed surprise (Once again: words fail me, i have no idea on what i am doing, please help), the way the Discordians gains their exaltation is quite serious!
The exaltation comes at a time of crisis, in which a part of the view of the world of the future Discordian has been challenged, and found wanting by none other that the future Discordian herself.
Here is the original text, so you can see it yourself!
It arrives at times of crisis—seldom the life-or-death crunch point of many Exaltations, rather when a mortal finds radical insight into the world or herself, be it on a physical, political, mystical or other level. She somehow realizes that the rules that she has taken for granted are not right, or are not the only kind of right, and that order and chaos are equally a matter of interpretation.
Examples that the book supply are: a barbarian lost in a snowstorm and kidnapped by a flying raksha…. who is then freed within walking distance from Whitewall. A man on the blessed isle who, despite finding a carving clearly departing both from doctrine and blueprints in a temple, cannot help but find it to be promoting respect for the gods in its own way. A woman, who, seeing a slave going away from his aging master, because the man forgot about owning him…. only realizing that the same thing could have happened if it was the slave forgetting his own status. (No, i have absolutely no idea what this last example means, please don’t ask.)
(Except of course if you want to see me writing again the above phrase.)
Why i should use/play a Discordian?
Do you want to add a bit of confusing fun to your usual exalted game? Do you want to befuddle your players with NPC who have powers which they shouldn’t posses? Do you want to blindside everyone, by telling a serious story with decidedly not serious actors? Then the Discordians are right for you! (The Discordians may have other justification of playing, but my headache has not subsided, thus i cannot write much more. ouch)
Where i can find the Discordian’s Book?
Unfortunately, the main link has gone down with the White Wolf old forum. But have no worry! The Discordian still live! You can find them in GitHub (If you know how to build the PDF from all the various files), or you can tell me how to upload them somewhere(I have a pdf), thus allowing less expert peoples to bask in their glory(I am one of those less expert people, having downloaded the PDF back when it was up in the WW forums. But I haven’t told any of you this, right?)
Next time, on Discordian “Essays”: Who is Eris Discordia? (The answer will be confusing) What are the castes of the Discordians? (The Discordian don’t have castes, they have divisions. They are the same thing, only with a different terminology) And potentially more!